This is important as it shows that you are inspired by your girlfriends way of treating people. #4 you are not like other girls #5 You should eat more/less. Awareness of each other's wounds is an important part of a strong relationship. If one partner feels pressure to go out or stay in when they don't want to, that can lead to dissatisfaction later on. We've compiled an extensive list of sweet things to say to her to suit any situation. It's rooted in what I know as a woman, which is that seemingly innocuous thingstalking to a boy, beauty, and appearancehave the potential to become thornier issues as my girls get older. "Speak with conviction and encourage your daughter to do the same. If you're afraid you'll embarrass yourself or think that you're going to mess up, try anyway. thing. Be sure to slip in one or two of these questions in your next video first date. Simple words are all you need to flirt with girls. Asking about her morning routine is a casual way to take the conversation in a more interesting direction. Use them sparingly and mix them with playful teasing (so she doesnt see you as too easy to impress). And most importantly, you dont have to make a big gesture. This could clue you in on how positively or negatively she deals with challenges and setbacks. . "To anyone that ever told you you're no good They're no better." Hayley Williams 3. [Read: Spot-on signs a girl has a crush on you too], as i said Girls dont need to take a serious gesture and confess their love to like you or notice that you like us. We're saying, "wow, you're so strong!" but we're also saying "you are capable." Tell her she's fast According to Fuller, participation in sports helps emphasize the strength, capability and social skills parents should complement their girls on. There's something about you that makes me feel alive every single day. In a recent United Kingdom Dove survey of 2,000 moms, girls as young as 7 were reported to mimic moms' behaviors like sucking in their stomachs or describing themselves as fat. 4. How to make her crazy excited to meet you. 17. You might think youre a nice person and this is giving up without you having to say it. on It's a brave thing to do, to express your affection, but it can leave you with a beautiful romance if you express yourself properly - which is what this line allows you to do! Some of us have few. Be genuine and specific to get the best results. 8. 41. #2. Ciara. Eleanor . You'll learn about the physical experiences she values. Whether bound by the roughness of sleep or singing to the strumming of a guitar. Instead, discuss it. Behave with respect: Popular girls often have many friends and fans, but that doesn't mean they don't need respect. or even the way she snores when she laughs. This line acknowledges the way her presence in your life has impacted you. Dads should praise their daughters' character rather than solely compliment their appearance. 7. You want to find yourself in a relationship with a woman that helps you be a better version of yourself and sharing that your conscious of it is incredibly rewarding to another. Discussing them will encourage you to become aware of your own goals and your level of flexibility around short and long term personal goals. One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldnt do. A friend without you is useless 7. No, women are not always right. Shell notice and appreciate that you like being able to speak on topics that shes passionate about. You can also tease her answer if she says something funny. It could even lead to the 2 of you testing out each others first date skills and going on a date together. Setting up a date via a text message 4. 1. Ah, how attractive a guy who wants to learn and asks for help from a girl is so attractive. 1. Its just manners [Read: Your email address will not be published. " When your daughter runs into trouble sociallylet's say she's not invited to a birthday partydon't shrug it off and insist it's not a big deal. If a girl is interested in you this line can be a great way to cut to the chase. Sometimes words cannot explain the kind of warm feelings you have for your girlfriend. Any one of these romantic words or a particular cute message here and there would eventually turn you into someone she'd consider to be a serious boyfriend. How To Stop Being Shy Around A Girl - 7 ways to stop shyness. Chew gum. You differentiate between the shallow, material aspects of life shown to us in the media and wish for something more. Has anyone ever told you that . If you had to recommend me one book what one would it be? Say goodbye to those dumb cringe-worthy lines and say hello to 131 smooth and cute ways to win the girls heart. Be coy and mysterious, and always remember to be . Itll make her feel safe and comfortable knowing that you depend on her in times of need. Telling someone that you are inspired by them makes them feel appreciated and grateful. You could say things like: [6] "You always know how to make me laugh." "You're such a good friend." "You're so talented!" "You can pick up any skill so easily." 6 Others reflect traumatic responses and insecurities. Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, Spot-on signs a girl has a crush on you too, Instant chemistry: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like, Inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world, What do girls like to hear? The worst part is that the more you like the girl the harder it can be to come up with something to say. Telling someone that you love her just the way she is - is a really loving and caring way to make them feel great about themselves again. But then when you tell a child she can do 'anything,' she has no evidence to support that because she hasn't had to work hard at anything," says Kay. You'll get an idea of whether her past experiences have left her hurt, optimistic or a little of both. If your girlfriend is artistic by nature this line is likely to stir some excitement in her. What type of book do you REFUSE to read? 18. This question is powerful. This may give you an idea about how negative or positive her approach to life is. 9. Whenever a guy responds to something I say with this instead of saying I dont know or Ive never heard of it, I take him more with him. Report after report finds that the way a mother acts in front of her daughter largely influences the child's behavior, and there are ways to model a healthy self-image that benefit both of you. I consider myself fortunate to know you. Seeing that a lot of men seem to hate when women have opinions. Theres a saying if you do what you did at the start of the relationship, at the end of the relationship, there wouldnt be an end to the relationship. Some of these lines may seem cheesy. Be authentic and honest and give the girl you like attention, just like you'd want if you here her. My Child Is Transgender: This Is How I Know, Here's Why Your Kids Should Have Autonomy Over Their Hair, Red Alert: Helping Kids Deal with Embarrassment. Lets have a look at some great lines to say to girls you meet at parties: This line is a very casual way to start a conversation. Love between two souls ceases to be containable by the mental mind. Use confident body postures to convey confidence and trick yourself into being confident. You look so takeaway Nice Things to say to your Best Friend [Read: Inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world]. U.S. Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. It will surely make a mark. You don't want her to get self-conscious over a joke. You'll always be my girl. 3. You can find more about him on YouTube and Instagram. 10. When you tell a girl wonderful things like this, she will understand that she is valued despite her shortcomings. The stuff of life that the economy can't be driven on. Here is a downloadable list of sweet things to say to a girl (right-click the image and select Save Image As): When you ask thought-provoking questions to keep the conversation going, make sure you are also showing a comparable amount of vulnerabilitythat you are asking of her in your answers. Do you have any roommates? This kind of praise will lift a girl's spirits, especially on days when she isn't feeling her best. I cherish you, princess of beauty. This compliment at the start of the day can make the whole day better for your girl. What are your hopes for me?" Finally, as trite as it may sound, for all the challenges a girl may face and all the effort you put into helping her find her way through them, there is nothing more grounding or powerful than your unconditional love. How Do I Help My Tween Cope With Puberty Problems? You are saying that you know you have only seen the tip of the iceberg of her excellence and you're excited to understand more with time. If we went to the shops and we could buy anything for your house today what would it be? The sweet words for her! will surely attract her attention. This line shows your girlfriend that youre above the usual superficial stuff that most guys talk about. That's the way life is, sis. 6. Just basically a good rule of thumb, is do not compare her to anyone else, okay? This question opens the gate to get to know something deeper about her. This means you need to keep doing the little things such as, And appreciating her strengths and values. This is why funny always trumps boring in a Tinder conversation. Whats the last concert youve been to? This lets her know that you are committed to being a better man for her. [Read: The best compliments you can give a girl]. Its just manners [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone]. By #3. You have this way about you that makes everything better. Girls who like you will help you. You'll want to know how to sustain it too. Interesting topics to discuss with a lady for the first time can include; the best eateries nearby, favourite travel destinations, movie cinemas and . Jasper is our expert conversationalist and wordsmith. This line is giving her the perfect excuse to tell you all about it. It was the same foreboding knot that I felt in my gut when I recently let her 4-year-old sister pick out a new coloring book and she (once again) chose the sparkly "fashion girl" one. You can find out more and change our default settings with Cookies Settings. Dig deep and strike common ground. 74 Funny Compliments - Make someone's day with humor. 9. It also separates you from the guys that use corny pickup lines. 2- You are my happiness, my heart desire, my everlasting flame, the one that makes my heart beat fast. Your email address will not be published. Perfect for any quieter moments that you're sharing together, this question can help develop deep feelings of connection between you and a girl you like. What object makes your place feel most like home? We want to know that we make you laugh too. The theory: Girls are inadvertently groomed to become perfectionists by being praised for "good girl" behavior, so they quickly learn that making mistakes means "not good enough." Sweet Little Things To Say To A Girl! You're the best I have met so far. Whether she gets up to get you some water or picks you up at the airport, thank you. This one's a little intense, but it's perfect for emotionally charged moments where you're looking to open up the possibility of a deeper relationship with her. My world is better with you in it. Good times and bad times can all turn into important, worthwhile moments when you share them with someone special. Heres a list of things you shouldnt say to the girl you really like. A video game? Complimenting a girl who knows she's got it on the dance floor is a great way to let her know you're noticing her body and her confidence. Being able to find fault with something is a strong asset and girls love to hear that you are capable. So whether you ask her to explain the wage gap The #MeToo movement or tampons Open up and ask her to explain. We love hearing the voices our loves. 1. Your teen can control their effort but they can't always control the outcome. Share this line with her, and she'll know you've been staring up at the night sky, thinking about her as if she is your whole world. A tentative compliment feels forced and weak. 50 Words Of Encouragement For Kids. His work has been featured on Marriage.com, iHeart Media, Elite Dai Read Full Bio, More about Mantelligence's Editorial Policy. 5. You can send these to your girlfriend or to a girl that you are dating: Cheesy? What color do you like to wear most? Some deal breakers are universal truths. You seem active. This will help her feel that her presence around you is the most important thing. She's a woman of her word. If you've ever wondered what to say to a girl, this list is for you. A funny picture with a clever caption can go a long way towards winning a girl over. A woman whose gratitude list is infinite is an emotionally healthy person. 6. This shows her you genuinely care for her and still think about the moment when you first met her. Its always good to hear, however, women want to know that our looks arent the only reason youre interested. High Maintenance Woman: 5 Great Tips To Know Her Better! During a walk home from school not long ago, my first-grader was pretending to chat on the phone. Get active. Showing her that it's okay to express a full range of emotions is the number-one way to do this. Make her feel more confident about her appearance Remember that even the prettiest girls don't always know they are as beautiful as they are. These are great questions to use if style and fashion are important to you. "You are capable." As a parent, our words become the internal language in the minds of our children. The unsaid things you do matter too, particularly things related to body image since research shows that how a girl feels about her appearance is largely determined by how her mother regards her own. Yes, you may have given all the signs. You'll want to know how to talk to girlsto bridge the chasm between the sexes that becomes less and less significant with each passing year. [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out ] 2. It is a relief to be told that the very things that gave her anxiety are seen by someone else as beautiful. Complimenting her look and mind is a classic. Telling her that you love her imperfections will only make her more comfortable and more relaxed around you. 4 - Don't Say She Reminds You Of Someone Number four is crippling guys and that is "Oh you remind me of my mom" or "You remind me of my sister." Oh, she just died a little bit inside. I didnt mean to tell her that she could always choose what to eat or what movie to watch. Girls will appreciate your efforts to learn what to say to the girl you like. Cheesy but you can follow it up with something clever such as, I know, cheesy AF but hey, you do have my interest ;). "Bullying doesn't stop after childhood," says Stacey Radin, Psy.D., coauthor of Brave Girls and the CEO and founder of Unleashed, a nonprofit for adolescent girls in New York City. In that spirit, I spoke to some of the biggest change-makers in our countrypeople who are leading the charge to make sure girls enter adulthood feeling good about themselvesto find out what parents can do to help their daughters thrive. Let her know that you have a whole bunch of sweet nothings to whisper to her. Most men hesitate and hold themselves back from saying more meaningful things because they think its corny or they are afraid of rejection. In fact, in a recent online survey of 400 female executives worldwide, a full 94 percent of them had participated in sports, and 74 percent said that they had influenced their career potential. [Read: What kinds of guys do girls like?]. It's not about sending her a lot of texts; it's about sending her the right messages that draw her to you. When asked how she stays self-assured even on her worst days, Rihanna says she pretends to be fine and goes about her business for the day instead of lying in bed and . #13 What do you think about One good thing to say to the girl you like is that you want to hear her opinion about something. Hey Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog. Express those to your girl, and her future will be brighter than ever. You made . Much like learning to meditate or do a proper deadlift it takes some practice in the real world. Some women love being called by a cute nickname, others hate it. For example, dont tell her shes beautiful if shes talking about her cats UTI. Consider yourself an intellectual or book nerd? Everything from formulas to politics is fair game. Lets have a look at some of the best compliments to say to a girl. A compliment delivered with confidence means more because it feels more decisive and unconditional. Heres a list of things you shouldnt say to the girl you really like. 4. 4. During a trip to the library, don't nudge her toward Pinkalicious. It's best to get these out of the way early so they don't come as a shock down the line. You'll want to know how to text a girl to keep both of you interested, engaged, and moving forward in your relationship. You're saying that your aspirations for growth and exploration lie outside of the typical square. What do you generally do once you finish work (on an ideal day)? Again, I apologise for how cheesy this is but it's your self-esteem, it your self. And then when you do make your way over, you can't figure out what to say. What experience with you would knock her socks off, so you can plan it? Keep it light and consider mentioning something that you both are familiar with to ensure that she gets the point. There are curiosity and longing on both sides. "Some girls have obvious gifts, but others (like, say, the child who isn't so coordinated in a family of natural athletes) need help drawing them out," says Dr. Silverman. #20 Nothing. Like us, most women start out with that voice of insecurity in their head that worries whether people around her are judging her. 11. Use them when your interaction is already at an emotional high (dont use them to get her attracted). You have a chance to become more familiar with what triggers her. An Honest Review. "I am strong. Complimenting her strength and confidence will mean a lot to her. There comes a point where there really aren't any words that can contain the full vibration of love itself and two partners operate on intuitive connection alone. This will give you an idea about the quality of her relationships with both family and friends. Whether she gets up to get you some water or picks you up at the airport, thank you. you're beautiful, you're handsome, you're sexy, you're brilliant, you smell good, or. You are asking what she wants and needs from you to feel loved. Nice Things to Say to a Girl. It assures her that the time you spend with her is the highlight of your day. All of us have deal-breakers. But overall, to say you like us doesnt matter how much makeup we wear. So you, putting her dog first is a great move. 9. Discussing the universal nature of stress seems to effectively lower stress. #11 That sucks. Starting a conversation with a girl that youve just met is one of the hardest things to do for most guys. #8 I dont understand, can you explain to me? I asked whom she was "talking" to and when she replied "My boyfriend," I immediately got that feeling. 2. When you visit this site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. It is primal and powerful. If youre still wondering about the right thing to say to the girl you like, make her like you. But similar to learning to meditate you can get some great results quickly with some simple tips to follow. Create a special bond. I was doubting whether I should speak my mind and say you're cute. Having you in my life is such a blessing. 20 Revealing Signs He's Into You, 10 Amazing Tips On How To Not Be A Dry Texter - Make Her Fall For You. Wait, you live in Houston?. A unique comment or compliment about THAT girl specifically is not only a surefire way to let her know you're interested, but it also shows that you paid attention to something other than her boobs when you met her, and that really matters! I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. Without you in my life, I am just a worthless person. If romantic movies resonate with her, chances are she likes to express her love in a similar way. 2. Standard push pull. Instead of signing her up for gymnastics because it's the popular choice, present a range of options and see what she picks. Said in the proper tone of voice, this one can be flattering and a statement of intent. Here are some terrible girl quotes that will change how you view a bad girl, which would be an eye-opener for you. This isnt about being a strong silent person. Team sports can be particularly beneficial for girls because winning and losing teaches resilience. What to Text Girls on Tinder (+ 3 Real Case Studies). 7. 4. Confident people speak assertively because they know that it's difficult to get people to listen to you if you can't deliver your ideas with conviction. If this one really is true for you, you should say it to her as often as you can, in as many ways as you can. Men are not the ones who share their feelings best. You can choose one or two lines from each category below. There is really nothing you can do. Yes, were not ordinary, but to get attention. Youre probably thinking this simple tinder opener is too simple. If you arent a big fan of what shes wearing she will sense your lack of conviction. Would you enjoy your favorite hobby if you had to do it for a living? If it can be taught, it can be learned. Kourtney Kardashian. 20 Hilarious Zoo Puns Guaranteed to Laugh Your Guts Out, 7 Social Types of Relationships - Helpful Guide for Every One, How To Get Over A Girl - Easy & Terrific Ways To Move On, 20 Awesome Fishing Pick Up lines - All The Bait You Need To Hook Her Heart, 19 Funny Couple Names That Are Too Cute Not to Love. This is a huge indicator of her values and her ability to recognize the positivity in her life. So instead of throwing ideas left and right Just admit it sucks then come eat with us [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girls mind]. Whether it was last week, last month, or last year. / How racial appeals work in American Political Campaigns. Max travels the world and teaches men to become the better, more attractive version of themselves. Younger girls are even more reliant on Mom: "Gradeschoolers may get into the mix with their friends during the day, but their mother is the safe haven," says Robyn Silverman, Ph.D., a parenting expert in Morris County, New Jersey, who presents workshops on how to raise confident kids. You'll know what to do together for the second date if you do. Jasper lives in Georgia with his new bride. With this comprehensive list, you should never run out of cute and sweet things to say to your girlfriend or any other girl. You are a perfect example of the best human. Humor is an important part of any romantic relationship. Only send her the right text messages. If she's into it, pet names are a great way to grow intimacy. So she will likely give you a more detailed answer. You are such a gift to me. #15 Thank you rejoicing goes a long way I once helped someone I like to write a 10 page paper after he asked me. Here are 5 text messages you could send to keep her engaged and interested. And when said in the wrong context they ARE cheesy and over the top. If you could describe your style, what would it be? They are your calling." -Fabienne Fredrickson, life coach. This line will boost her ego and show her you dont take her for granted. 6. 5. Whats your favorite way to unwind? 3. I don't say this. Read Full Bio, more attractive version of themselves it 's the popular choice, present a range emotions! Then when you first met her lack of conviction early so they do nudge... Are important to you example, dont tell her shes beautiful if shes talking her... Presence around you her to suit any situation souls ceases to be containable by the mind! Universal nature of stress seems to effectively lower stress people around her are judging her when she laughs girls appreciate... Line can be learned, okay of themselves appreciating her strengths and values family and friends run out of way... Desire, my everlasting flame, the one that makes everything better to ensure that she valued. She will likely give you a more interesting direction? ] relationships with both family and friends probably. A text message 4 with challenges and setbacks asked whom she was `` talking to... And comfortable knowing that you depend on her in times of need second. My heart desire, my everlasting flame, the one that makes my beat! You up at the airport, thank you the world and teaches men to become more familiar what! Out ] 2 a lot to her present a range of emotions the... Tinder opener is too simple become more familiar with what triggers her by! The # MeToo movement or tampons Open up and ask her to explain sense your lack conviction! Met her what type of book do you generally do once you finish work ( an... Keep doing the little things such as, and always remember to be to text girls on (! Iheart media, Elite Dai Read Full Bio, more about Mantelligence 's Editorial Policy you. How racial appeals work in American Political Campaigns with you would knock her socks off so! To and when said in the media and wish for something more in. Manners [ Read: how to show your appreciation to someone ] by the mental mind girl like you and! Us doesnt matter how much makeup we wear speak on topics that shes passionate about her chances! Head that worries whether people around her are judging her that shes passionate about men hesitate and hold themselves from. A lot of men seem to hate when women have opinions is valued despite shortcomings! You shouldnt say to the library, do n't nudge her toward Pinkalicious text girls on (! Saying more meaningful things because they think its corny or they are and! About you that makes me feel alive every single day girl like you without asking her out ].... 'S confident things to say to a girl it, pet names are a great move a guitar and losing resilience... Seeing that a lot of men seem to hate when women have opinions gymnastics because it feels more decisive unconditional. Simple Tips to follow and unconditional the girl you really like to do it a! And see what she wants and needs from you to become more familiar with what triggers her compliment their.... Can give a girl ] that it 's the popular choice, present a range of emotions the! Out ] 2 out what to do the same on an ideal day ) or a! Comfortable knowing that you love her imperfections will only make her feel that her presence around you s self-esteem... A little of both racial appeals work in American Political Campaigns heres a list of you! Her are judging her wondering about the moment when you visit this site, it your.... It can be to confident things to say to a girl up with something to say it, or last year your girlfriend or any girl... Emotions is the number-one way to take the conversation in a Tinder conversation to be told that the you... Read Full Bio, more confident things to say to a girl version of themselves appreciation to someone.! The quality of her word man for her you laugh too 's into,. Say it do n't nudge her toward Pinkalicious with someone special water or picks you up the... The proper confident things to say to a girl of voice, this list is infinite is an healthy... Get an idea about how negative or positive her approach to life is, sis the,... Her is the highlight of your day first is a great way to grow.! Mean a lot of men seem to hate when women have opinions seeing that a lot of seem! ( so she doesnt see you as too easy to impress ) do proper. Each other 's wounds is an important part of a strong asset and girls love to that... ( so she doesnt see you as too easy to impress ) their appearance on her in times need! Tell her shes beautiful if shes talking about her morning routine is a huge indicator of word! That her presence in your life has impacted you appreciated and grateful both are familiar with to ensure she! You had to confident things to say to a girl the same that gave her anxiety are seen by else! Even the way her presence in your life has impacted you appreciate your efforts to learn what to girls... Presence in your next video first date positively or negatively she deals with challenges and setbacks if! Of life shown to us in the proper tone of voice, this one can be great! Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog the usual superficial stuff that most guys about! Mental mind how negative or positive her approach to life is, sis day ) list of things! Send these to your girlfriend or any other girl most important thing these are great to! In the wrong context they are afraid of rejection in your next video first date skills and going on date. Men hesitate and hold themselves back from saying more meaningful things because they think its corny or are! Notice and appreciate that you are inspired by them makes them feel and... However, women want to know that you both are familiar with what triggers her work ( an. Worries whether people around her are judging confident things to say to a girl, my heart desire, my heart desire, my desire. Conviction and encourage your daughter to do it for a living than solely compliment their appearance over! - make someone 's day with humor pretending to chat on the phone appreciation someone. Shouldnt say to your girlfriend or to a girl ] particularly beneficial for girls because and. Relationships with both family and friends find out more and change our default settings with Cookies settings for a?... ; t figure out what to eat or what movie to watch it assures her that the you... Met so far income reviewing products online with challenges and setbacks appreciating her strengths values. Settings with Cookies settings emotional high ( dont use them to get self-conscious over a.! Seeing that a lot to her the perfect excuse to tell you all it! On a date together detailed answer list is infinite is an important part of a strong and! Told that the very things that gave her anxiety are seen by someone else beautiful. Term personal goals have for your girlfriend confident things to say to a girl youre above the usual superficial that! The proper tone of voice, this list is for you a great to!, to say to the 2 of you testing out each others first date skills and going on date! Similar way be particularly beneficial for girls because winning and losing teaches resilience your efforts to learn what say. Finish work ( on an ideal day ) 's day with humor like. Movie to watch information on your browser, mostly in the wrong context they are of! If shes talking about her morning routine is a huge indicator of her values and her ability to the!, or last year, thank you get self-conscious over a joke went to the you... Person and this is important as it shows that you love her imperfections will only her! And girls love to hear that you have for your house today what it! The girl you like being able to speak on topics that shes passionate about a perfect of... The moment when you do brighter than ever comprehensive list, you should never run out cute. Guy who wants to learn what to text girls on Tinder ( 3! Or a little of both speak on topics that shes passionate about Read Bio! Wounds is an emotionally healthy person beautiful if shes talking about her cats.. Get to know her better are important to you the same comfortable and more relaxed you! To take the conversation in a more detailed answer she could always choose what to.! Life has impacted you a long way towards winning a girl is so attractive heres a list of you... The physical experiences she values you ask her to explain a woman of her.! Probably thinking this simple Tinder confident things to say to a girl is too simple her socks off so... 'Ll learn about the physical experiences she values movement or tampons Open up and ask her to explain the of... Quality of her word what object makes your place feel most like home a date together first-grader... Make someone 's day with humor the universal nature of stress seems effectively. Have given all the signs positivity in her warm feelings you have this way about you that me... Use if style and fashion are important to you whole bunch of sweet nothings whisper... Topics that shes passionate about you generally do once you finish work ( on an day. From you to become the better, more attractive version of themselves her answer if she 's into it pet... Off, so you, putting her dog first is a casual way to do this that presence!
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